“Don’t forget where you came from” is something I’ve heard my dad tell me all throughout life during different chapters - moving into State, dropping me off at camp, starting a new job, and even moving into my house. Such a simple statement, but one that carries heavy meaning.
I’ve been telling my friends lately that I’ve been feeling off. Not my full self. Some of it could be attributed to needing an extended vacation from work - not the long weekend I tend to do. My friend Katy would say “it’s the planets Tiffany!” Whatever it is, I feel off. And it’s starting to show in my artwork. And in full transparency, I threw away three unfinished pieces last week.
I escaped up to my parents this weekend knowing full well I was going to make time for a run in one of my favorite places - the Flatwoods. I love this time of year down there. The beans are about ready for harvest, the leaves are starting to turn, and the quietness down there will stop you in your tracks. There is a spot down there that I like to go to past the barn lot right along the green pond as I call it (it tends to stay full of algae and home to many wood ducks). It’s a spot I’ve had many convos with Jesus, one I’ve painted too many times to count, and the spot where I always feel the weight of the world go away.
If I’m being fully honest, I think I lost a piece of myself this year. I stepped into a new position at work (one that I never saw for myself and am learning to navigate) and I let myself get caught up in the motions of life. I carried more burdens than I should and I didn’t let the small things go. I let the world tell me what I should and shouldn’t do and often tell me “I’m too much” or “I’m not enough.”
No wonder I feel off.
Because if we’re being even more honest, much of what I feel my “off-ness” attributed to is being told to wait. I’ve felt for the past year that this chapter of my life is temporary. I won’t get into toooooo much detail there wink wink but it feels more like a stepping stone. One that I’m impatiently staying on even though I don’t understand it.
When I got to my favorite spot yesterday on my run, I felt this immense sense of calmness I hadn’t felt in forever. For the first time, I had not a care in the world and I truly felt the Lord tell me everything was going to be ok. For once, there was no timeline, no late submittal, no stress. Just me and God…who was telling me just to be present in the now on this current stepping stone and to not forget where I’ve come from all the while praying for what’s to come.
Because at the end of the day amidst the craziness of the world, I’m still the girl from Corinth Community. The one who pretended to be Pocahontas when she was little. The one who’s a little strong-willed, has a deep moral compass, and the one you’ll find on the church pew on Sunday.
I have no idea where the Lord is taking me next. But I’m super proud of where I’ve come from and I can’t wait to see where he takes me next.
