middle of it (part II)
Growing up, my favorite Disney princess was Pocahontas. So much so, I would go play in the Flatwoods pretending I was her. I was known to bring back any and all feathers I found, deer sheds, and the occasional arrowhead. I loved Pocahontas’ spirit, her desire for adventure, and the need to always stand up for what she believed in.
In AP Art class in high school, my art teacher assigned us with the project of a self-portrait. I remember struggling through the project - not really knowing how to represent myself - and ended up just slapping a piece together. As humans, we’re often wrapped up in our self-image of how the world perceives us. But how do we really see ourselves? As I’ve gotten older (and maybe a little wiser), I think how I see myself as evolved into something God always intended for me to be.
In March, I had the privilege to attend an all-ladies pheasant/quail hunt in Virginia. It was the absolute best weekend where I felt the Lord’s presence. My friend, Alexis, photographed the entire weekend and captured a picture of myself that hit me in way of who I am and where I’m going. Seeing the picture, I knew exactly that I needed to do a new self-portrait.
There’s a spot in the Flatwoods that always hits me a little different. Walking on the path behind my parents to the Flatwoods, you have to wind yourself down a long, steep hill. Once you get through the woods, you walk over a pond dam where you can start to make out the vast fields before you. The old tobacco barns are on the other side standing in all of their glory. I’ve painted that view so many times, I can probably paint it with my eyes shut. But there’s a point when you get to the barns that it just opens up and you see nothing but openness all around you. It stops me in my tracks every time and always amazes me at how quiet it is.
That spot is a feeling of home to me. It’s steady, and has stood the test of time for many, many years. And as God continues to direct my path before me, it’s always there. A gentle reminder of where I come from and where I’m going.
There was a point and time several years ago where I felt a little confused about life. That all changed when Rosie entered the picture. She has instilled a confidence in me to be exactly who God intended me to be. To share my artwork. To step out of my comfort zone.
As a Christian, we always talk about putting on the full armor of God as we navigate our days. I’d like to think that my armor looks a little like a trusty orange cap, Filson vest, and the shotgun my Pop bought me. It’s when I feel most myself, and confident that I can tackle whatever the good Lord puts in my path.
I hope that as I get older and continue to be molded by life, that the same Pocahontas-loving girl is never lost to the world around me. Instead, she’s navigating the chapters of life, feather in hand, with her eyes fixed on the horizon God has put in front of her.
